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Flying backwards

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fear [Feb. 18th, 2007|08:52 am]
Flying backwards
that one day.
ill wake up
and i wont see your face in my memories
and i ll completly forget
how you looked when you told me
you loved me.

emo. i know.
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raising our fists. [Feb. 18th, 2007|08:07 am]
Flying backwards
the morning is stale
reminding me of all the smoke in this bar
that well.. i couldnt bare..
lastnight my heart became a punching bag..


it started out well though i cant lie.
poetry is the best way to start a night of drinking...
coffee.

thats what i need.

and i havent had enough of it.


lets go driving.


can i just go on by saying im at work its 8 am

and no one is here...

i miss working alone.
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the days speak [Jan. 8th, 2007|09:48 am]
Flying backwards
has myspaced killed live journal?
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when i hear your name. [Sep. 20th, 2005|11:02 am]
Flying backwards

    i.  hate. you.

this is the first day of my last days i built it up now i take it apart climbed up real high now fall down real far no need for me to stay the last thing left i just threw it away i put my faith in god and my trust in you now there's nothing more fucked up i could do wish there was something real wish there was something true wish there was something real in this world full of you i'm the one without a soul i'm the one with this big fucking hole no new tale to tell twenty-six years on my way to hell gotta listen to your big time hard line bad luck fist fuck don't think you're having all the fun you know me i hate everyone wish there was something real wish there was something true wish there was something real in this world full of you i want to but i can't turn back but i want to
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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2005|06:18 pm]
Flying backwards
I didnt see myself. I couldnt hear myself. I couldnt see what was infront of my face.

all i see is white white white white white white white white white white white...
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Nicole...Nicole. Nicole..NIcoleee.nicole. n-i-c-o-l-e [Sep. 15th, 2005|06:05 pm]
Flying backwards
hypnotized
Ani D
so that's how you found me
rain fallin around me
lookin down at a worm
with a long way to go

and the traffic was hissing by
and I was homesick and I was high
and I was surrounded by a language
in which I could say only hello
and thank you very much
and you spoke so I could understand
and I drew a treasure map on your hand

and you were no picnic
and you were no prize
but you had just enough pathos
to keep me hypnotized

and the map led to an island
in a sea of store-bought dreams
where soulless singers sang
over beats built by machines
and lovely girls were hovering
above my head like gulls
with their long slender necks
and their delicate skulls

and I was no picnic
no, I was no prize
but I had just enough sweetness
to keep you hypnotized

so that's how you found me
rain fallin' around me
lookin' down at a worm
with a long way to go
-----------------------

The past week seemed a blur but the one thing that remained prominant was nicoles face. I was really that lucky...

her body is something i had to get used to and now it is something i cant sleep without..



This isn't love so forever let it go...forever let it burn
This isn't love there on the backend of forever
I wish I would never hurt again
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shitty [Sep. 15th, 2005|06:02 pm]
Flying backwards
i must say i have not had shittier days..
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i had never been this cold [Sep. 13th, 2005|11:07 am]
Flying backwards
-

I wanted to rember how it felt like to wake up in a completly different state of mind, with a different body set beside me with different hips i wrapped my arms around so tightly i wouldnt know the difference between their syloette at 3 oclock in the morning, i wanted to forget all of the illusions that i had placed with your name, i wanted to forget with all the reminders that stood beside me and underneath me at every waking moment i atleast had the satisfaction of knowing you had me tattoed on you for the rest of your life and even that you couldnt make yourself forget. I still wanted to call you, see you feel you i still wanted to pretend that after all of this disaster i would still find myself somewhere deep inside of you. As i sat in a place far from home, far from illusions it helped me realize that you, and your beauty werent mine to admire anymore.
-
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(no subject) [Sep. 13th, 2005|11:01 am]
Flying backwards
i spent the night in jail.







and it helped me forget.





school is really fucking hard right now.
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(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2005|09:43 am]
Flying backwards
-now vicariously i have her in me
i want to peel off my skin
let the water wash in
you always said that i was hiding
that i was hiding from you
but you are capable of things i could not do
you are capable of things i could not do
i remember how you pretended
how you pretended to touch me
i remember how i couldn't bring myself to believe
i remember wondering,
what was wrong
what was wrong
how could i be so naive
how could i be so naive?-


and i will never forget.
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